The Suicide Letter From My Past

by: Dominique Garrett

DC

Dear Dominique, 16, a mess,

Its been a while now…since you sat on that kitchen floor wanting to end your life.

Its been a while since you thought there was no way out. I wish I could’ve held you tight on those nights when at just 16 years old you believed life couldn’t get any better. I wish I could’ve put my hand on your chest and stopped the pain and depression that you carried.

I know that a history of mistreatment, both physically and emotionally, has left you scared, but…please hold on. Right now you don’t understand. Right now you’re looking for answers, but if told you it will take some time…would you hold on?

I promise that I will be waiting for you…and you will smile again!

I know right now in this very moment you can’t comprehend certain things – like why your brother gets more love and attention than you, or why everyone in the world tells you that you’re so strong, but they really have no idea…I promise you I get it.

You wish that for once someone would wrap their arms around you and say it’ll be ok, cause right now you’re 16 and you don’t know all the answers.  You’ve had to grow up so fast because being a kid just wasn’t in your cards.  You raised yourself emotionally…and yet you did it wrong, but its ok.

I am here to tell you that you will be ok one day soon…and that even though you feel like ending it right now, it will get better, so please don’t let go right now!

Life never moves forward without leaving behind a lesson.

When doubt fills your mind remember that you are going through this to build you UP, not to break you down. One day you won’t need anyone’s validation. One day the past will only be that…the past.

So just close your eyes and trust in your future… you will be a light for others.

I promise to always keep that light on for you…even now in this moment I am trying to be a light in a dark place.

You’re stronger than you think.

With love,

Dominique, 27 years old, a message

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