Episode 8 was pretty solid. I think it showed my effort to apologize and smooth things over with Alex which didn’t really work but at least I can say I tried. I realize now that I shouldn’t have ever sugarcoated the truth when it comes to talking to her…aka the “backhanded compliments.” I should’ve just been 100% blunt and honest even if it sounded harsh. Rather than trying to deliver a FACT like “you fall so hard and so fast and get way too emotional” with some sugar, I should just tell it like it is. Straight up. But instead I would follow it up with…”but it’s a GOOD thing you are this way! I admire this about you!”… when REALLY, it isn’t good or admirable stuff at all. I just never wanted to stir the pot anymore with her than it already was. We ended the convo agreeing to disagree and I assumed we were moving forward amicably and peacefully for the rest of the time we were there. I even thanked her one day in the kitchen when we were getting along just fine, for having the true heart of a Christian to forgive me and “keep no record of wrong doing” – but man, she was sure keeping record and receipts and I had no clue until later.
When the remaining girls came to the villas, Jeffery had to make his move once him and Kristin were clearly ending their relationship. What you didn’t see was a few days prior, Jeff had text Alyssa while she was still at the bungalows saying that he felt he made a mistake by not asking her to go to the villas with him and wanted to see if there was any hope/chance of starting something there. She declined. (Remember I mentioned in a previous blog post that he was initially wanting to pick Alyssa and Alex to take to the villas but that Alex eliminated them both when she brought up how they both really wanted a Christian man – and Jeff isn’t Christian?) Jeff and I even talked about it off camera that he had his sights set on those two women from the start. So once all the single ladies came to the villas, Jeff first pulled Alyssa to the side and asked her once again if she would like to stay there and date him- and once again, she said no. So that’s when he asked Alex if she would like to stay and date, and after talking about it with the girls, she decided to stay. At that point, Dom pulled me to the side and told me to watch my back. She said “I could stand up and scream right now” because of Alex’s sudden interest in Jeff- It was as if she said yes to staying there with Jeff just so that she would stay on the show longer rather than going home…
Regardless, I wasn’t worried about Tyler trying to have a “back up plan” whatsoever. In fact, you know the scene where Tyler and Alex are talking about her possibly staying and he encouraged her to stay? I TOLD TYLER TO GO TALK TO ALEX, go make sure she’s ok, go say hi, let her know there is no awkwardness here on our end, support her decision to stay if that’s what she really wants because Jeff is awesome, etc. But Alex is now making it seem like he was flirting with her and asking her to stay as a back up plan. Oh please.
Anyways, I was sooooo sad to see Kristin go. She was so lovely and I’m bummed that she and Jeff just didn’t click. I think they are two great people who simply weren’t great together. It happens!! Kristin is a classy, mature, sophisticated and grown woman- and I just love her so much!
I’m so happy this episode showed more of the compatibility and chemistry that Tyler and I shared too! It wasn’t all physical attraction that led him to his decision to pick me after all. We were constantly laughing and talking about anything and everything. He respected my choice to not share a bedroom. He made sure to request with the villas staff that I got my very own bedroom apart from his and I appreciated that so much about him. He’s 5 years younger than me (which at times I felt was an issue), but there were so many MORE instances throughout the experience where he was very mature and wise for his age.
By the way, that was a birthday party I will never forget! Rum tasting and dancing all night was pretty awesome. The band even sang me happy birthday and we all had a really great time. Fun fact: The better dance party took place with all of us cast and crew in the parking lot late into the night! Tyler tried soooo hard to get me some flowers and was soooo mad when Jeffery was able to get flowers out of nowhere and yet he wasn’t! Jeff was so sweet and such a hopeless romantic for Alex! We all gushed when they came back to the rum bar with the roses. They looked like a cute couple going to prom! I even took a picture of them because I was so happy for Alex (remember at this time I thought we had peace and had squashed everything…)
(yup, that’s me taking the pic. LOL)
I was sad that the remaining uncoupled girls had to be sent home! I wish they could’ve just stayed at the villas with us all. That would have made things even more interesting! #plottwist
I didn’t think it sent a good message to women watching this show to send the single girls home. Its like saying “if you find a man, lucky you, you get the good life! But WHEN the supply of men runs out, you can’t stay and enjoy the good life, instead, you’ll be sent off -alone!” How terrible. There is so much power in being single and never settling and I hope that more women know that. I know for me, I absolutely needed the time to be single that I have had. So much growth and self awareness stems from that alone time.
I hope this chapter can just remain closed. Its over and done with. I am disappointed in how some of the girls chose to blatantly ignore my texts where I was checking in on Alex to see if she was ok. (See the #NoFilter After Show footage)…That’s such a #MeanGirls thing to do. I do forgive them though (a few have actually called me to apologize, saying how they were basically convinced at the bungalows to err to her side, and how they feel bad for ever believing that I ‘bullied’ Alex as bad as she made it seem.) Alex’s tears were wayyyyyy too dramatic, convincing, and over the top, per usual. (WOW- the old me would say “but that’s not a bad thing! Being emotional is endearing and sweet!”…but no one likes the ‘backhanded complimenting’ so ill just leave it at that I guess..)
ONLY TWO MORE EPISODES LEFT!! Again, thank you ALL for the amazing support. I try my best to respond to as many tweets and snaps and comments on Facebook and Instagram as I can, but I truly do thank all of you for the love, support and encouragement. You have made this whole experience so much more fun. Love you guys!