COUPLED: Episode 8 Recap

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Episode 8 was pretty solid. I think it showed my effort to apologize and smooth things over with Alex which didn’t really work but at least I can say I tried. I realize now that I shouldn’t have ever sugarcoated the truth when it comes to talking to her…aka the “backhanded compliments.” I should’ve just been 100% blunt and honest even if it sounded harsh. Rather than trying to deliver a FACT like “you fall so hard and so fast and get way too emotional” with some sugar, I should just tell it like it is. Straight up. But instead I would follow it up with…”but it’s a GOOD thing you are this way! I admire this about you!”… when REALLY, it isn’t good or admirable stuff at all.  I just never wanted to stir the pot anymore with her than it already was. We ended the convo agreeing to disagree and I assumed we were moving forward amicably and peacefully for the rest of the time we were there. I even thanked her one day in the kitchen when we were getting along just fine, for having the true heart of a Christian to forgive me and “keep no record of wrong doing” – but man, she was sure keeping record and receipts and I had no clue until later.

When the remaining girls came to the villas, Jeffery had to make his move once him and Kristin were clearly ending their relationship. What you didn’t see was a few days prior, Jeff had text Alyssa while she was still at the bungalows saying that he felt he made a mistake by not asking her to go to the villas with him and wanted to see if there was any hope/chance of starting something there. She declined. (Remember I mentioned in a previous blog post that he was initially wanting to pick Alyssa and Alex to take to the villas but that Alex eliminated them both when she brought up how they both really wanted a Christian man – and Jeff isn’t Christian?) Jeff and I even talked about it off camera that he had his sights set on those two women from the start. So once all the single ladies came to the villas, Jeff first pulled Alyssa to the side and asked her once again if she would like to stay there and date him- and once again, she said no. So that’s when he asked Alex if she would like to stay and date, and after talking about it with the girls, she decided to stay. At that point, Dom pulled me to the side and told me to watch my back. She said “I could stand up and scream right now” because of Alex’s sudden interest in Jeff- It was as if she said yes to staying there with Jeff just so that she would stay on the show longer rather than going home…

Regardless, I wasn’t worried about Tyler trying to have a “back up plan” whatsoever. In fact, you know the scene where Tyler and Alex are talking about her possibly staying and he encouraged her to stay? I TOLD TYLER TO GO TALK TO ALEX, go make sure she’s ok, go say hi, let her know there is no awkwardness here on our end, support her decision to stay if that’s what she really wants because Jeff is awesome, etc. But Alex is now making it seem like he was flirting with her and asking her to stay as a back up plan. Oh please.

Anyways, I was sooooo sad to see Kristin go. She was so lovely and I’m bummed that she and Jeff just didn’t click. I think they are two great people who simply weren’t great together. It happens!! Kristin is a classy, mature, sophisticated and grown woman- and I just love her so much!

I’m so happy this episode showed more of the compatibility and chemistry that Tyler and I shared too! It wasn’t all physical attraction that led him to his decision to pick me after all. We were constantly laughing and talking about anything and everything. He respected my choice to not share a bedroom. He made sure to request with the villas staff that I got my very own bedroom apart from his and I appreciated that so much about him.  He’s 5 years younger than me (which at times I felt was an issue), but there were so many MORE instances throughout the experience where he was very mature and wise for his age. 

By the way, that was a birthday party I will never forget! Rum tasting and dancing all night was pretty awesome. The band even sang me happy birthday and we all had a really great time. Fun fact: The better dance party took place with all of us cast and crew in the parking lot late into the night! Tyler tried soooo hard to get me some flowers and was soooo mad when Jeffery was able to get flowers out of nowhere and yet he wasn’t! Jeff was so sweet and such a hopeless romantic for Alex!  We all gushed when they came back to the rum bar with the roses. They looked like a cute couple going to prom! I even took a picture of them because I was so happy for Alex (remember at this time I thought we had peace and had squashed everything…)

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I was sad that the remaining uncoupled girls had to be sent home! I wish they could’ve just stayed at the villas with us all. That would have made things even more interesting! #plottwist

I didn’t think it sent a good message to women watching this show to send the single girls home. Its like saying “if you find a man, lucky you, you get the good life! But WHEN the supply of men runs out, you can’t stay and enjoy the good life, instead, you’ll be sent off -alone!” How terrible. There is so much power in being single and never settling and I hope that more women know that. I know for me, I absolutely needed the time to be single that I have had. So much growth and self awareness stems from that alone time.

I hope this chapter can just remain closed. Its over and done with. I am disappointed in how some of the girls chose to blatantly ignore my texts where I was checking in on Alex to see if she was ok. (See the #NoFilter After Show footage)…That’s such a #MeanGirls thing to do. I do forgive them though (a few have actually called me to apologize, saying how they were basically convinced at the bungalows to err to her side, and how they feel bad for ever believing that I ‘bullied’ Alex as bad as she made it seem.) Alex’s tears were wayyyyyy too dramatic, convincing, and over the top, per usual. (WOW- the old me would say “but that’s not a bad thing! Being emotional is endearing and sweet!”…but no one likes the ‘backhanded complimenting’ so ill just leave it at that I guess..)

ONLY TWO MORE EPISODES LEFT!! Again, thank you ALL for the amazing support. I try my best to respond to as many tweets and snaps and comments on Facebook and Instagram as I can, but I truly do thank all of you for the love, support and encouragement. You have made this whole experience so much more fun. Love you guys!


Before Tomorrow’s Episode…

Every Monday before Tuesday night’s episode is always a mix of emotions. The anticipation is on another level as we wait to see how much will be shown and how much won’t be shown. A bunch of us cast members text each other for a large part of the day trying to remind each other of what even happened for the upcoming episode since its been a while.  “Is this the one where so-and-so comes back to the bungalows? Is this the one where we go on that crazy group date? Is this the one where so-and-so gets sent home??? Did I cry in this one??” NOTE: we all cried. All the time. lol

So for tomorrow’s episode it’s no different. By now, hopefully its become clear that it’s impossible to fit everything we shot into a single 42 minute episode. There are hours and hours and hours of footage that will never be seen. Imagine three or more cameras following your every move from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep, but only less than an hour of that footage will be shown; its been a fascinating, exciting, disappointing, and yet completely entertaining process to see what actually ends up in the final cut.

Oh, the drama. If there was no drama, reality TV would cease to exist. But man, when it comes to the REAL WORLD, I think the drama that people create is far, far worse. The cyber bullying is insane. I can’t believe some of the things I read about each and every single one of us cast members. It’s appalling. On the other hand, it’s so much fun to read all the positive and encouraging messages and comments. Those really save the day and I know I speak on behalf of all of us when I say thank you!!!!!

So that’s what this is… I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for going on this crazy ride with us and for watching, tweeting, insta-loving and everything else in between. Thank you, thank you, thank you for those of you who know that this is a reality TV show. Let me say it louder so the people in the back can hear – this is a reality TV show!!! Do not, I repeat do not judge or make assumptions on who we are as individuals based on what you are seeing on your TV screens. Episode 8 is tomorrow and you know I’ll be writing a blog right after. Here are some previews for tomorrow:

…. look good!!! x o x o !


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I’ve been putting off writing this because quite frankly, if I wrote this any sooner it would be coming from a place of “getting even” and I’m realizing there’s no need to do that- The insane amount of support I’m getting on social media alone is more than enough to do that for me!! I can’t thank you guys enough!! I wish I could respond to every single tweet, snap, Instagram comment, and Facebook comment. You all are amazing!!!!!

I’d rather just lay out the facts for you, and let time reveal the rest. The truth always has a way of surfacing anyways! It already is. So here’s what’s up.

In this episode we meet Tyler. Tyler is a 24 year old model living in Miami. In our first impression, I asked him “J-LO, Beyonce or Carrie Underwood?” (I did the same with a few of the guys, just to see what their ‘type’ was.) Tyler instantly blurted out “CARRIE UNDERWOOD!” (At which point I mentally retreated and accepted that I’m just not his type) but then he very quickly followed it with – “BUT IT’S BECAUSE SHE’S CHRISTIAN!” BINGO! When he said that, we totally hit it off. We shared our favorite Bible verses with one another and talked about what it’s like being a Christian in the entertainment industry. It was a really great first impression we shared and I’m extremely sad that this part of our conversation wasn’t shown. It was really the best first impression I had during the whole season with ANY of the men, even Javier.

Fast forward to the tiki bar where I was pretty sure he was going to pick Brittany and Alex, since they are both closer to his age, whereas I am 29. I figured that even though Tyler and I totally hit it off with our values and upbringing, that he would still want to give things a shot with the two women closer to his age. I even told Alex before he walked up that I could totally see them together and that I was really excited for her.

Time for Tyler to make his selections. First, he picked Alex. Duh. Wasn’t surprised. I was happy for her! But then, he picked me and I was pleasantly surprised. I thought, wow alright, don’t write things off just because of his age, don’t make excuses, just give things a shot!! He’s Christian and super cute!!

Our time at the trio villa was… interesting. Literally, not even a few hours into being there, Alex and I had that conversation in the bathroom while getting ready for dinner. You know the one: When Alex says, “let the games begin, Alicia”.. ring a bell? As you witnessed, Alex was letting me know that on a scale of 1-10, her feelings for Tyler were at a 20. My mind was blown. I was thinking, “how can you possibly be this amped for a guy we just met today?” and “This sounds familiar…she was just like this for BT, and hell will freeze over again if Tyler doesn’t pick her! Omg! And I don’t have any chicken nuggets!!”  (her medicine) and my other thought was, “is there something wrong with me, that I don’t get that hype for a guy until getting to know him extremely well???”

IMPORTANT: Within that conversation, I was NOT suggesting that the ONLY way for Alex to “win” would be if I backed off. THAT IS NOT what I was inferring at all, as Alex stated. Basically, I was feeling bad that she was so deeply in her FEELS for this guy, and that I wasn’t at all, and for THAT reason, I didn’t see the point in even trying to force those feelings to develop when she already had those feelings.

Lets also address something else here. Alex had these same intense feelings for BT. If you’ve been watching this whole season, you can recall the way she reacted when BT didn’t ask her to go to the villas with him. After that whole mess, Alex was defeated and pessimistic. She felt that there would be no other men coming to the island that were exactly her type in the way that BT was. (Remember how she cried in the Stevey episode because she felt like no more men were coming who were her type?)

But also…let’s not forget that she wasn’t happy about being at the villas with Ben (she actually HID from him while they were there after their conversation in the kitchen) and she definitely didn’t have the desire to be there with Javier either. So she didn’t fall in love with EVERY guy and declare them as “the one” as many are saying on social media. She didn’t cry like that for every single guy. She only did that for BT and Tyler. She’s just a very energetic and emotional person, which isn’t a bad thing at all, but it was just exhausting to be around at times, to say the least. Many of her COUPLED SISTERS 100% agree, but refuse to say it to her face, so I’m saying it here and will deal with their calls later, lol. Maybe.

BACK TO THE TRIO VILLAS AND THAT HOT TUB SCENE. If you recall, Tyler and I were having a conversation by ourselves at first and then Alex joined us a bit later, that’s because she was doing an OTF (On the Fly interview.) So when she was done, it was my turn for my OTF and THAT’S where I went, initially. After my hour long OTF I decided to go visit the couples villa and get some advice. I was there for maybe 20-30 mins after my OTF. I ALSO KNEW DANG WELL that Alex and Tyler were most likely making out. I mean HELLO I was born at night but not last night. You put two hott, young 20-somethings in a hot tub with strawberry daiquiris flowin’ and DUH, they are gunna make out. HELLER!!! And a part of me wanted that to happen so that Alex would be happy. I realize now how stupid that was. I considered her a little sister the whole time, while she considered me fake and competitive. I had no idea she felt this way until later. I feel so stupid for ever thinking I needed to help her and protect her. Clearly she can do that on her own, as I’ve learned. But, as I said, I was always there for Alex at the bungalows, even defending her with some of the other girls. I brought her breakfast in bed one time when she was really upset, and made sure there was always cranberry juice (her fave) leftover at breakfast. Even while AT the villas, Alex was often stressed out about getting ready because we were always so rushed, which was so annoying and I shared in that frustration with her, so, I always tried to get her to relax by doing my own hair and makeup so that the hair and makeup team could do hers. It wasn’t until towards the end of the season when one of the artists pulled me to the side and told me, “we aren’t just here for Alex ya know.. we can help you get ready too. This isn’t The Alex Show” that I finally started getting their help to get ready. I even remember helping her put her shoes on for her one day when we were really rushing to get ready. I catered to the girl! I really have no idea why I did all that. NOTE: I am not saying all this to make her sound like a little diva either. This is just the way she is and you actually learn to love and laugh at it all. Many of us couldn’t stand her in the very beginning but over time, we grew to like her unique ways and it sucks that this side of our “friendship” wasn’t shown. Truth is, I was happy to do all these things for her because I considered her a friend. But little did I know…


At the couples villas, everyone was soooo sweet with their advice to turn it UP and really try things out with Tyler rather than giving up because of Alex. So that’s what I did. I just wish everything hadn’t happened the way it did when I went back to my room.

So here’s how it REALLY happened: I get back and Alex is blow drying her hair and getting ready for bed. I ask her how everything went with Tyler and if they kissed and how she was feeling about it- as I would with any friend after she hangs out with her bae. With a guilty look on her face she said they made out for a pretty long while in the hot tub and that she reallllllly liked him even more now. In Alex’s defense, I suppose we have all been there, where we just meet someone and kiss and the butterflies are wild and crazy. So in a way, I got it, but I wanted to remind her that they literally just met hours before, and to sloooowwwww the heck down. I wasn’t mad whatsoever, just concerned by her rapidly developed feelings- I remind you all that I left them alone knowing full well that would happen. (I didn’t know their make-out session ended with her legs wrapped around him in the shower though, lol!!! Tyler eventually came clean and told me the next day.) But, in walks Tyler. I felt like the “big” at the sorority, trying to get the frat boy out of the sorority house so that I could keep talking to my “little.” Hashtag sigma phi alpha kakapoopoo.

Things blew up way more than they needed to. I should not have said those things while Tyler was standing right there. I regret that Tyler was standing right there. I wish he wasn’t. But I still would’ve said the same exact things to Alex even if he wasn’t. You guys, if my actual real life little sister was behaving the way Alex was for a man, I would be putting her in her place, too. Especially if I recognized patterns in her behavior, like falling super hard and fast for someone she just met, and all that crying, etc.

She was acting like the victim because they kissed and thought I was mad about it. She said, “you two should totally make out if you want to!” I felt like we were in high school and that’s probably why I resorted to communicating the way that I did. But to say that IIIIIIII made her look like a stage 5 clinger is insane. That wasn’t all me… and I have the receipts to prove it.

The next day we all had breakfast together. Tyler and I ate the food that I made, but Alex didn’t. She only eats very specific foods – I don’t think she even wanted the fruit during breakfast, I remember Tyler mentioning that it bothered him.

After breakfast Tyler and Alex left for their date. Tyler shared with me how before their date, he was pretty sure he was going to pick Alex because they had indeed kissed the night before, had a lot in common, and he didn’t like the way I called her out in front of him. But once we went on our date and we connected on many levels that didn’t require being physical whatsoever, he changed his mind completely and realized who I really was. We really got to know each other and it was awesome. Tyler and I both said that it was the best first date that either of us had ever been on. Yet, all that was shown was me asking how long their make out session was and him lying about it. LOL. We both looked pretty bad there. But what wasn’t shown was how much we laughed and talked about sooooo much more. We really clicked. He told me what he liked about my personality, and I told him what I was learning about his. I told him how I was impressed that someone his age had so much knowledge and wisdom on important topics. We quoted movies throughout the whole thing too which was a major bonus. It was just an all around awesome time and I think that’s where everything changed for the both of us. It’s a shame none of the more substantial parts of our conversation made the final cut. It just looks like he picked me because of physical attraction which is terrible and untrue and no woman deserves to be pursued simply because of the way she looks. So, see Tyler’s comments below:


Allow me to point out that the common thread/foundation of my whole entire blog is INNER BEAUTY. The heart of a person,  their selflessness, KINDNESS, personality and everything else that makes up INNER BEAUTY is what matters. That’s what matters the most to me! Scroll through any and all of my social media and you will quickly see that this is what I’ve ALWAYS been all about and have always promoted. I even help run a little Miss Inner Beauty pageant for crying out loud. But does this mean I shouldn’t care about the way I look? ABSOLUTELY NOT and I REFUSE to feel guilty for wearing my Jessica Rabbit dress or anything else that makes me feel sexy, for that matter. I refuse to ever accept being bullied for the way I dress. When you feel good, you look good and vice versa.

Can we talk about THAT RED DRESS THOUGH? I love it. I think it’s sexy and classy. IMPORTANT: I was highly encouraged by MANY to wear that dress.

As we all know, at the decision ceremony, Tyler decided to ask me to stay with him and I was really excited about it. But at the same time, I was also really upset for Alex because I knew how much she wanted him to pick her. I insisted that I get to go outside and talk to her before she left. And I did.  Of course this wasn’t shown on the show, was it? (See pic below) She sat there and said, “you don’t need to do this” to which I responded, “I can’t enjoy this without knowing you’re going to be ok. And you’re going to be ok!” I was crying.


Alex heads back to the bungalows more distraught than ever before, and is very well received and comforted by some of her “COUPLED SISTERS.” Yes, that scene bothered me a little because it looks as though they all were against me. But, I’ve had some pretty extensive conversations with most of them about that scene, and that wasn’t the case at all. I suppose they did what you’re supposed to do when you see a gf hysterically crying. And I loved what Dom said: as women we need to STOP blaming “the other woman!”

Even though I thought Alex’s tears in that moment were a little over the top, I probably would’ve tried comforting her too, per usual. I hope she realizes how lucky she is to have had everyone soothing her and and making sure she was going to be ok, not just then, but from the moment we all arrived in Anguila. I wonder if her super young age had something to do with that, but like I said, even I wanted to make sure she was going to be ok. I didn’t want to see another heartbreak like I saw with BT!  As you saw in previews for next week, I even text Alex the next day to check in on her. Apparently this pissed her off even more. But hang on a minute here… didn’t she get upset that Kristin DIDN’T text her to check on her when she was there with BT??

Let’s recall the way she treated Kristin for NOT texting her when she was at the villas with BT and got the bungalow girls to sympathize with her and semi- agree with her… I very clearly remember a moment off camera where I say to Alex, “Kristin loves you. She planned your whole surprise birthday party, remember?? Try to focus on that, and not that fact that she didn’t text you. Now’s your chance to prove how mature you are for your age.” To which she responded, “so you think I’m being immature?” – I WISH I WOULD’VE SAID YES. But instead, I didn’t want to rock the boat and further upset her (seems to be a common theme) so I said nothing. And I feel like many of us did that with her- a lot- we babied her because she was the youngest one blah blah blah. Not just the cast members, but also the production STAFF included were always wanting to appease her and keep her happy, OR ELSE. It’s a little ridiculous thinking back on it just how much so many of us went above and beyond to keep Alex happy.

Switching gears, I continue to be blown away with how cute TT and Brandon are together! i love the way they overcame that minor bump in the road after yoga. They are my favorites! I love the way BT looks at Ashley. Lisa and Ben always make me laugh and have so much fun. I love how much Linds and Alex laugh together.  Things are going great, but will it stay that way???? You gatta keep watching…

So there you have it. Sorry it took so long to post this extra long post but I wanted it to be written from a place of peace rather than emotion, and to say EVERYTHING (hence it’s length) so that I can close this chapter once and for all.

Coupled will be back July 19 with all new episodes! Thank you all for the overwhelming support! I normally don’t feed into the whole #TeamAlicia vs #TeamAlex thing because I want everyone to just move on and get along but y’all have just been going IN on the support and defending me so I gatta give it up for you squad!! I’m blown away and deeply touched!!! Thank you guys so much for watching and supporting!!

In the words of Jessica Rabbit:  “I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.” 😉


Alicia “Jessica Rabbit” Blanco




Episode 6 – We meet Javier and all of us were impressed. I was one of the more excited of the group (obvi!!!) and I think for obvious reasons. We shared the same upbringing with our families and values and culture, etc. So of course I bidi bidi bom bom’d TO THE RIGHT. I really was hoping he was going to pick me, so when he didn’t I was bummed! I was really excited for Alyssa though because she was off to the villas! And after seeing how smitten he was with her, its no wonder he picked her! His selection of Alex made sense too because he said he needed a women to bring out the fun in him. And as we all know, Alex is all sorts of fun!

I also had no idea that Alex was talking so much smack about me. I had taken a big sister role with her for most of our time in Anguilia. (When she was down and out about BT, I was literally bringing her breakfast in bed, making sure she was fully stocked with chicken nuggets and cranberry juice to cheer her up, I mean I borrowed her shoes everyday… I totally thought we were more than cool.) It wasn’t until watching her say she’s funnier than me (I don’t think I’m funny…but ok) and that I have a big personality but hers is bigger, and that I have a little kitten voice.. and can we just have a moment for her little bloat session mocking the AYYYY PAPI and the fact that Javier didn’t pick me…I didn’t know her claws were already out at that point is all I can say. *sips tea* 

Also in this episode we say goodbye to Taylor. He was so funny and I wish I got to get more time to get to know him. I was happy for Ben and Lisa though. In the dating world, things like this can happen.

But CAN WE TALK ABOUT MICHELLE AND HER BABY AND BABY DADDY!!?!?!?  That was the most beautiful story to watch unfold, omg! I was crying soooo hard. I cried just as hard watching the episode.

NEXT WEEK WILL BE CRAZY!! If you’ve seen previews, you know what I’m talking about… And I cant wait to write about it immediately after. #JessicaRabbit #LetTheGamesBegin



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I cant believe we are halfway through Season 1 of Coupled! Next week is already episode 6…wow?! So, I thought I would do a quick little recap of episodes 1-5 and share my unfiltered feelings regarding all thats happened thus far (and the stuff you DIDN’T SEE!!)

Episode 1 we meet Alex who ends up picking Lindsey. I’m a fan. This guy was hilarious from the start and I had no doubts I wanted to walk right for him. Such a cutie. We all got to spend way more additional time with Alex immediately after the first impression meetings. In our one-on-one conversation, I asked Alex how important God was in his life. He said he wasn’t a religious guy at all and wasn’t looking to change that. And that’s when we “friendzoned” it out. Having a Christ-centered relationship is of the utmost importance to me and he respected that. I instantly became his “wing-woman” and asked him how he was feeling about my hott roomie, Lindsey.  And we all know how that turned out! They are awesome together and seem to be a fan favorite.

Episode 2 we welcome Mr. Imari to the island. They showed the “pageant” that I put the poor kid through. I also asked him: “would you rather have the most stunning and gorgeous girlfriend in the world, but yet she doesn’t believe in God, or would you rather have the most unattractive girlfriend in the world who has a huge relationship with Jesus?” He said he would rather have a woman who believed in God because that’s the most important to him. And THAT’S WHY I walked right. Imari and I got along well but I was definitely shocked when he asked me to go to the villas with him! I for sure thought he was going to pick Talyah, TT, Dom over me. When Talyah got to the tiki bar after walking right she was seriously glowing. She even made a comment that she would “follow that man to Russia”… and it was that very comment that really changed everything for me for the rest of the show. I sat there in the tiki bar thinking, “well damn, THAT’S how I want to feel about my next bae. So I’m not gunna walk right until I feel THAT way.” My thoughts were interrupted by Imari’s decision to take Dom and I back to the villas. Shocked as I was, I embraced the opportunity and we all three had a decent time at the villas. When imari asked Dom to stay in the couples villas with him, I was thrilled.

Episode 3 is the SLIDE INTO THE DM’S episode when Imari sent me a text that he was second guessing his decision. GIRL CODE: I wanted to tell Dom right away, so I told her ASAP. None of us ladies at the bungalows really knew what was going down between Imari and Dom. Lindsey was texting me here and there but it wasn’t until Dom came back that following morning that I got to sit down with her in my room and get the full scoop! Our friendship was made stronger because of that scenario. We also meet BT in this episode who is GORGEOUS but I walked left for him. Why? I asked him (in true pageant form) “J-Lo, Beyonce or Carrie Underwood”… and he quickly said Carrie Underwood. And I ain’t no Carrie Underwood honey! I knew I was a little too Selena for this guy, so I walked left. I regret that I didn’t get more time to hear his story and had no idea he was an amputee until later on in the show. What an amazing man!!!!

Episode 4 Brandon, Brandon, Brandon. Ayyyyyyy papi…the butterflies were REAL. I loved how tall he was!!!!!!!! And we got along extremely well. All we did was laugh. And he was a fan of Selena!!! So, obviously I was into him. I can’t lie though… seeing him and TT together made me sort of melt. And that’s just all bad. They looked like they were made for each other and I totally felt like the third wheel. They were just so compatible. I remember at breakfast one morning, I felt like I was on their honeymoon or something. I was bummed but not surprised when he picked TT to stay at the villas. They are currently my favorite couple on the show!!!

Episode 5 TEAM  STEVEY! The ONLY reason I walked left for this gorgeous and sweet man was because he looks like a cousin of mine! Dating him would be like dating someone who wears the same cologne as your dad… you feel me?? Other than that, I was soooo shocked that no one else walked right for him. He was adorbs. Jeffrey was also great. I think the reason I walked left was because I had just come back from the villas with Brandon and was waiting for those butterflies again and I just didn’t feel them with Jeffrey. But that certainly doesn’t take away from the fact that he was extremely kind and charming. He looks like U-S-H-E-R –R-A-Y-M-O-N-D!!!! Can’t wait for you all to see what happens with this guy in the remaining episodes… IT GOES DOWWWWWWN AT THE VILLAS is all I can say!

Episode 6 BLOG UP NEXT!








It’s play time on the bed. Me and my sister are hiding under the covers, trying not to breathe. To make a single sound. Thinking we can hide from Daddy. Our hearts are racing with excitement.
The smell of mom’s perfume on the sheets is comforting and strong.

We feel SAFE. We feel LOVED.

All of sudden we hear Daddy’s footsteps coming from around the bed. We squeal with laughter. How did he find us?

Daddy is the best.
Playtime is our favorite time before bed. Wrestling, tickle wars. We are gasping for air from laughter. Faces red.

It’s bedtime now. Me and my sister fight over whose in the middle. Who gets to sleep next to Daddy tonight. We hug him tight, finish our bedtime story and sing….

“Now it’s time to go to sleep S-L-E-E-P spells sleep goodnight, sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite….goodnight.”

It is reflecting on those moments that get me through the dark ones. Right now I’m sitting in a stale, frigid hospital waiting room.
We are nothing but a number.
Mama’s eyebrows are frowned. Eyes look drained. It’s 3 a.m. and they’re telling us there’s “no room” for Daddy here.
We cry to the social worker… “Do you understand us?”
No. They don’t.
We are exhausted, empty. Young children explaining medical terms we barely comprehend. Daddy has been sick lately.
He told us this would happen. 
We look into his eyes and it’s as if we are looking into a strangers. We just want Daddy back. We beg to the nurses to take him in. To fix Daddy.

We miss play time, we miss laughs.

I close my eyes, drained from long nights watching over him. Babysitting. Making sure he didn’t leave the house. We don’t want people starring at Daddy. Thinking he’s crazy…
We need to protect him. Like he protected us.
Mama promises us it will all be over soon. But just for now. She looks us in the eyes and tells us to be STRONG. To not be AFRAID . We look back at her wondering how she ever did this without us.

We are Daddy’s fighters.

I close my eyes after finally getting home. They finally took him in.  I go to lay down in my room. Picture myself back in my Daddy’s arms. Listening to bed time stories. drifting asleep
Daddy has been away now for almost a month now. We visit him, but sometimes it’s scary. He’s NEVER scary. But it’s a frightening place. Honestly, it’s a nice break for Mom. But we miss him home.
Family and friends are starting to wonder.We are good at making up stories, excuses. No matter what…we protect our Daddy.

His ideas are less GRAND. His eyes are becoming more recognizable. Finally he can come home.

We re-set the clock for ‘the next time’ – it’s only a matter of time. Days and years pass. Routine continues.
Check his pills. Look deep into his eyes. Is Daddy still there?

We’re on our toes.

I’m older now, so this time I’m more prepared. I know how this works. This damn system ONCE AGAIN denying him a bed. Is he suicidal? NO. But he is sick. How can you deny care?

Why can’t you help my Dad? I want to SCREAM.

We continue to fight this battle, this routine of life. But whenever we end up in the same damn frigged room, fighting to protect our Daddy…I take myself back to my happy place. Where Daddy is just Daddy. Where life is normal.
And I rest my head on my Mama’s lap, close my eyes and repeat..
“Now it’s time to go to sleep. S-L-E-E-P spells sleep goodnight, sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite…goodnight.“——

You are not alone. For family support of the mentally ill please visit

COUPLED: Reality TV and My 10 MUST-HAVES in a Man


Everyone should have a “list” for what they are looking for in a partner right?? So here’s mine.

What I’m looking for in a man:

  • Christian with a strong relationship with God because LOVE IS 1 Corinthians 13:4 & I desire a Christ-centered relationship. (Patient, KIND, keeps no record of wrong doing, etc)
  • Unique sense of humor – I NEED to laugh! I’m a big kid and love laughing at myself, at my man, and with my man. Laughter really is the best medicine!!
  • Athletic/tall build – I’m 5’8” and I love wearing heels and want to still feel small next to him.
  • Amazing family/family oriented – when you date me you date my family. And when I date, I get attached to family rather quickly since I myself am so family oriented. I love big families with kids everywhere! The bigger the better.
  • Foooooiiiine… but yet doesn’t know how attractive he is. AKA HUMBLE.
  • Intelligence is sexy. So is generosity.
  • Must love and want kids. I’m not opposed a man who already has kids BUT I’d LOVE LOVE LOVE to give that gift to my husband one day – our first child, together… that whole experience is something I dream about. I want to be a mommy!
  • Speaking of kids… MUST. LOVE. DOGS too!!!!!!!! Especially my dog, Romeo. Or it’s BUH-BYE papi.
  • Affirms and encourages me in my field of work without being jealous. (The right amount of jealousy is cute though.) *Words of affirmation is key* as it’s one of my love languages.
  • P.D.A is a must –I want a man who cant help but to have his hands all over me and is super affectionate no matter who is looking!!! My other love language is physical touch.
  • Protective – will defend me to no end. I want that “ride or die, Bonnie & Clyde, it’s you and me against the world” type of love. I’m just looking for a best friend, at the end of the day – that’s the best kind of relationship to have.

So lets talk about this whole COUPLED thing. It’s a new dating show on FOX and I am honored to say I am part of season 1! Shooting started in February and ended in March. Its been a week since the premiere and tomorrow is episode two. This is so exciting!! It’s a Mark Burnett Production so I couldn’t pass up the opportunity because Mark Burnett is known for being Christian, and none of his shows are salacious, malicious or defaming in any way. (Shark Tank, The Voice, Survivor)

As for me, I’ve always been in serious relationships (pretty much back to back) and never really just plain dated. After over a year of being single I knew it was time for me to get out there again and start to date. So why not do it on national television? And why not in the Caribbean?

Obviously I can’t share details or give too much away, but be sure to tune in every Tuesday night @9pm on Fox to see if I checked off “my list” and found me a man or not 😉

Be sure to follow along on social media @aliciamblanco throughout the season for behind the scenes pics from the season.




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As a Victoria’s Secret model, Erin Heatherton was one of the wing-adorned “angels” stalking runways in lingerie and flashing her pearly whites on billboards, buses, and beyond in the name of the brand. But now she admits life with Victoria’s Secret wasn’t always as chill and Swarovski-studded as it may have seemed—she faced serious body image struggles during her time with the bra-and-panty brand, Time reports.

“My last two Victoria’s Secret shows, I was told I had to lose weight,” she tells Time. “I look back like, ‘Really?’” Heatherton, who walked in the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show from 2008 to 2013, left the brand three years ago when, in spite of working hard, eating healthy, and exercising twice a day, she says her body “just wouldn’t do it.”

I was really depressed because I was working so hard and I felt like my body was resisting me,” she says. “And I got to a point where one night I got home from a workout and I remember staring at my food and thinking maybe I should just not eat.” After walking away from the runway, Heatherton came to a startling realization: “I realized I couldn’t go out into the world—parading my body and myself in front of all these women who look up to me—and tell them that this is easy and simple and everyone can do this,” she says.

Via Heather’s Instagram:

vs secret1

The breakdown to breakthrough moment in my life has allowed me to become the truest version of myself. In my moment of “failure,” I stood in the face of adversity. I was struggling with my body image and the pressures to fulfill the demands of perfectionism upon me. I am not perfect. Through this struggle, however, I found the strength to love myself. I stood in my power. I thought of one of my favorite quotes, “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a men’s character, give him power” – Abraham Lincoln. I look back on that moment now, and I embrace it. This feeling I once perceived as “failure” was, in truth, a powerful awakening for me to stand behind my purpose in life. I stepped away from hiding behind a fabricated version of myself. I no longer put actions behind my fears and insecurities. I made a choice to redirect my energy to be a catalyst for change. To create a channel for women to become the truest versions of themselves, along with me. (Stay tuned for more…) In the end, if you aren’t being true to yourself, then what the fuck is the point. #rebelwacause #empowerment #womensempowerment#empoweredbyyou

Now, the always-athletic supermodel (she played on her high school’s varsity basketball team, according to the Sun Times), is using her platform to spread awareness in hopes of helping other women. “I’m willing to sacrifice my pride, in a sense, and my privacy because I know that if I don’t speak about it, I could be withholding information that would really help women,” she says. “It hurts too much to keep it in, and that’s why I’m not keeping it in now.”

From Miss Arizona to Misunderstood

By: Alicia M. Blanco

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Lately I’ve been doing a lot of traveling for work which I find to be extremely fulfilling and rejuvenating. (Refer back to my blog “Why Traveling is Good for your Mental Health” from last year.) In fact, I’ve been so busy that I haven’t blogged in almost a year!! But traveling is such an awesome part of life that I feel everyone should try to do more of. YOU MEET SO MANY PEOPLE, and these people from all around the world help to teach you more about yourself.

My newest “discovery” that I’ve acquired from my travels is that being misunderstood reeeeeallllllly sucks. Like, REALLY, REALLY SUCKS. Whether it’s an actual language barrier where you struggle to understand what the frack someone is saying and therefore preventing you from having a conversation of substance, or even being able to order a high-maintenance coffee (I like an iced, dirty venti chai tea latte with coconut milk and extra chai and two shots..and light ice. Because I’m a diva.) And you can forget trying to order a grande double shot vanilla bean frappuccino with exxxxxtra caramel inside the cup and on top with light whip cream…I guess it’s way too complicated of an order.

And then there are the cultural differences. Different people from different parts of the world will interact, speak, react, and even drive differently. Tempers are different. Attitudes are different. Levels of patience are different. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT! (…and thank GOD for that because we would be so bored if everyone was the same, wouldn’t we!?)

But I would gladly take on annnnnny language barrier/misunderstanding in the world over being misunderstood for who I am on the inside.

Recently I’ve had a few experiences while traveling where my heart, my integrity and my character was misunderstood- and it absolutely wrecked me.

But I learned that even the crappy things that happen to us serve a huge purpose in our lives.

Being misunderstood taught me 3 things:

  1. I love my family and friends like CRAZY and need to show it more when I’m HOME!! – I always knew I loved them, but after so much traveling and several different time zones, I learned just how much I value their opinions– and only their opinions. “People who mind don’t matter and people who matter, don’t mind.” Knowing I have an amazing group of people to come home to whenever I’m gone for extended periods of time gets me through. While I am so inspired by all the people I am meeting while traveling, I had to learn to reject opinions from people who don’t fully know me. It took me a long time to do this but once I did, it was extremely liberating. You cannot let the opinions of others define you, or worse, hurt you. And you certainly shouldn’t let opinions change who you are. #ohhayyyllno “Lions don’t lose sleep over the opinions of sheep.” I definitely need to show more appreciation for the people I love when I’m home. Whenever I’m gone I find myself swearing I’m going to be better about calling my mama and sister every single day since it’s hard to do when traveling. I need their opinions. I need to hear their voices.
  2. Stereotypes still exist.. um, what the heck!? – Whenever I personally encounter being stereotyped for being a pageant girl, it hurts! I can’t tell you how many times people assume I have a competitive spirit in every aspect of my life… or they assume I’m nothing but makeup and hair full time and that I’m putting up a façade. In the social media crazed world we live in today, it’s impossible to avoid being judged. You can sit behind a computer screen (or on your phone) for hours just scrolling through someone’s profile and judging them without even realizing it!  WE ARE ALL GUILTY OF THIS. Ladies, you should NEVER have to explain who you are to anyone! Stay true to who you are, even if the world has stereotypes surrounding the way you look, dress, speak and carry yourself, just keep your chin up otherwise your crown may slip. Besides, going to Miss USA is a one of the greatest accomplishments of my whole life and I’m so proud of it! I shouldn’t have to defend it or adapt to others in order to be understood or accepted. (Side note: the irony about ever being called a “pageant girl” in a negative way, is that I wasn’t raised in the industry. I was dared into my first pageant in my early 20s. So I can’t help but to laugh whenever people think I was born and bred to COMPETE…as if that’s a bad thing anyway?!)
  3. KINDNESS is key. – The whole entire purpose of my blog is to promote kindness and paying it forward! While traveling, it just comes natural to me to stay true to myself and be kind, always – even when someone is being completely unkind towards me. One of my favorite scriptures says, “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by doing so you heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 2:19-21 – Whenever I come across someone who is being difficult at the airport or on my flights or in my hotels, I overcome it by being extra nice. I always get such a priceless look on their faces.

It’s hard to put into words how gratifying it is to be kind when someone deserves it the least. I am always so hopeful that it will change the direction of their day, reboot their mindset altogether and maybe even lead to them taking on a different attitude and paying it forward for the rest of their day. And even if it doesn’t, I still walk away feeling good! Besides, everyone you meet is fighting something that you know NOTHING about. Always give the benefit of the doubt. Always be the advocate for someone who isn’t around to defend themselves. Take the high road. Speak words of encouragement. You never know how profoundly it can impact someone for the better!

Still, we are human and we are going to get hurt. The more I travel the more I’ve come to appreciate how drastically different we all handle being hurt. I think it’s a beautiful thing to learn from other people and it’s something I take seriously with every trip I take.

Anyways, just had to get this off my chest. Excited to be back in the blogsphere! I’m sure I will have lots to say in the coming months but no matter what, I’ll always stay true to myself no matter where I go in the world.


A Year Without Robin Williams

By: Alicia M. Blanco


On August 11th, 2014 I was flying home from a weekend in Arizona. When I landed and connected back to social media, the first thing I saw was “RIP Robin Williams”.. “actor commits suicide” all over my Facebook and Instagram feed. My body went numb. I was in total shock and disbelief.

Like many of you, I felt like I lost a close friend. I grew up watching and loving him and all the beloved characters he brought to life. It was devastating news to come home to, to say the least. Equally devastating is how mental health and suicide is treated and talked about in society. It isn’t until a celebrity commits suicide that society gives this topic any real attention. This needs to change.

It was on that day last year as I was driving home from the airport that I knew I wanted (and needed) to start my blog and dedicate it entirely to mental health, research, awareness and advocacy. I wanted all of the Robin Williamses of the world to know that they were not alone. It was my hope that by reading stories and articles from other people who have similar FEELINGS and experiences with depression (either personally or within their families) that people could begin to feel a sense of community and belonging. I want them to feel acknowledged, seen and heard. I desired my blog to be a place of hope where people could relate, with no filters, no stories of perfection – just pure and raw honesty.

I could sit here and list off all of the numerical statistics that show you how much suicide has increased over the years. But let me just cut to the chase. IT’S BAD. And every year it’s getting worse. Suicide has no specific victim- no group is “safe” from the impulse.  What’s worse, is that although many people give subtle “signs” that they are contemplating suicide, many people leave no sign at all.

The death of Robin Williams greatly impacted us because on the outside it would seem like he was a relatively happy person. (With a sense of humor like his, it seemed impossible not to be happy.) He also had a dream career, lots of money, fame and the respect and admiration of his fans around the world. This is the part that scares me the most – the amount of people living today who seem like happy people on the outside, but who are really deeply in serious trouble. Earlier in the year I reposted the story about Madison Holleran, a girl who appeared to have it all, (based on her social media, that is.) She ended up committing suicide, despite the utterly happily filtered Instagram life she portrayed to the world.

Depression is a silent killer. Unlike other illnesses that are physically visible, depression is something that builds up on the inside of a person’s mind and body and takes over control. It’s manipulative and even has the power to give off the illusion that everything is fine on the outside. It can also trick its victim into being insecure about sharing how they are feeling with someone.

It’s so heartbreaking, even one year later on the anniversary of his death, to accept that he was suffering so deeply, and quietly…And that’s what breaks my heart: Suicide is preventable – and the responsibility is entirely ours. Together we can each participate in changing these statistics. Enough is enough. Suicidal thoughts and attempts wreck the lives of millions every single day, and over 40,000 die from suicide every single year! Robin Williams’ death was just one of the hundreds who took their own lives on that day. What have we done since then?

We need to take a good hard look at the way we treat people. Our actions and our words matter. When we ask someone “how are you doing?” how many of us are genuinely interested in the response? Do we really care how someone is really, truly doing? Do we really believe someone is as happy as their Facebook or Instagram feed suggests? Are we participating in random acts of kindness for our family, friends and even strangers? Are we ourselves slipping into episodes of depression because of how much we compare ourselves to the “picture perfect” lives of others?

We are so “plugged-in” to our phones and computers these days that we have completely disconnected from community and heartfelt communication.

The way we talk about depression and mental health research & advocacy can re-shape the future. It can be as simple as changing the way we use our words; The words we use to talk about suicide; The words used in media to broadcast it; The words used to build someone up, or tear them down; The amount of time we spend using words of affirmation and encouragement. Bullying. Cyber bullying. Racism. Hate. Addressing depression. Make no mistake about it – the words we use matter.

“Our words are the ground note. Words are the least expensive, most valuable tool we have to educate, to turn the tides of public opinion, to affect real change. Let’s stop conversations that destroy lives, start conversations that save lives, and redirect conversations that distract us from what really matters.” – Dese’Rae Stage


If you or anyone you know is suffering from depression or suicidal thoughts, please call 1-800-784-2433 or visit