COUPLED: Reality TV and My 10 MUST-HAVES in a Man

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Everyone should have a “list” for what they are looking for in a partner right?? So here’s mine.

What I’m looking for in a man:

  • Christian with a strong relationship with God because LOVE IS 1 Corinthians 13:4 & I desire a Christ-centered relationship. (Patient, KIND, keeps no record of wrong doing, etc)
  • Unique sense of humor – I NEED to laugh! I’m a big kid and love laughing at myself, at my man, and with my man. Laughter really is the best medicine!!
  • Athletic/tall build – I’m 5’8” and I love wearing heels and want to still feel small next to him.
  • Amazing family/family oriented – when you date me you date my family. And when I date, I get attached to family rather quickly since I myself am so family oriented. I love big families with kids everywhere! The bigger the better.
  • Foooooiiiine… but yet doesn’t know how attractive he is. AKA HUMBLE.
  • Intelligence is sexy. So is generosity.
  • Must love and want kids. I’m not opposed a man who already has kids BUT I’d LOVE LOVE LOVE to give that gift to my husband one day – our first child, together… that whole experience is something I dream about. I want to be a mommy!
  • Speaking of kids… MUST. LOVE. DOGS too!!!!!!!! Especially my dog, Romeo. Or it’s BUH-BYE papi.
  • Affirms and encourages me in my field of work without being jealous. (The right amount of jealousy is cute though.) *Words of affirmation is key* as it’s one of my love languages.
  • P.D.A is a must –I want a man who cant help but to have his hands all over me and is super affectionate no matter who is looking!!! My other love language is physical touch.
  • Protective – will defend me to no end. I want that “ride or die, Bonnie & Clyde, it’s you and me against the world” type of love. I’m just looking for a best friend, at the end of the day – that’s the best kind of relationship to have.

So lets talk about this whole COUPLED thing. It’s a new dating show on FOX and I am honored to say I am part of season 1! Shooting started in February and ended in March. Its been a week since the premiere and tomorrow is episode two. This is so exciting!! It’s a Mark Burnett Production so I couldn’t pass up the opportunity because Mark Burnett is known for being Christian, and none of his shows are salacious, malicious or defaming in any way. (Shark Tank, The Voice, Survivor)

As for me, I’ve always been in serious relationships (pretty much back to back) and never really just plain dated. After over a year of being single I knew it was time for me to get out there again and start to date. So why not do it on national television? And why not in the Caribbean?

Obviously I can’t share details or give too much away, but be sure to tune in every Tuesday night @9pm on Fox to see if I checked off “my list” and found me a man or not 😉

Be sure to follow along on social media @aliciamblanco throughout the season for behind the scenes pics from the season.

Besitos!

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Instagram Isn’t Real

by: Alicia M. Blanco

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You are beautiful.

…without a filter.

Which leads me to this:

I LOVE me some instagram… it’s honestly my social media of choice. I love looking at pictures and posting pictures…

but it isn’t real! Not all the time.

Stop scrolling through it and comparing yourself to someone’s best version of themselves. You can bet they are ALSO going through some tough stuff, just like you. No one ACTUALLY posts the sucky stuff that’s actually going on.

It’s always a “booked it!” (after not booking five jobs before that one) and “selfie!” (which probably took over 70+ attempts before getting the right angle AND editing it with the right filter) and “on vacation, again!” (its like, where did they get the income to afford to go there, and there, with them, and those people, so often, and I’m over here trying to pay rent?)

I read an awesome blog just a few weeks ago called “What I Instagrammed vs What Was REALLY Happening” and it was soooo HILARIOUS and TRUE. So here it is. READ IT!! So damn good. Applause! I am so obsessed with great blogs. When I see a good one, I can’t help but to repost it. I just want to share the love and keep the wave going.

Imagine a world with no filters… just 100% honesty, transparency, realness.

Something tells me the statistics in depression would decrease if people didn’t have so much comparison throughout their days.

“Stop comparing your behind-the-scenes stuff to everyone else’s highlight reel.”

ESPY’s Highlight – Caitlyn Jenner

by: Alicia M. Blanco

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I wrote an article a while ago about Bruce Jenner- and I got a wave of responses to it. Everything from people who absolutely support and respect the transition, and others who are completely bothered and disgusted by it.

Whether or not you agree with what’s happening here, I think its important to acknowledge that the world we live in today is so much more diverse than its ever been before. I’m actually pretty excited to be living during such a unique time period as this.

Last night at the ESPYs, Caitlyn Jenner was presented with the Arthur Ashe award for COURAGE. Her acceptance speech obviously made me super emotional and I wanted to defend her today as I’m seeing a lot of people posting about how undeserving she is of such a prestigious award.

To me, courage comes in all different forms. From our military and armed forces who bravely defend our country day in and day out, to the kid at school who bravely defends his classmate being bullied – courage can be seen in many different ways.

Personally, I find Caitlyn’s story to be incredibly courageous and her award, completely deserved.

Imagine living your life with a miserable state of mind, just like Bruce was doing. Bruce hid behind a façade of masculinity and athleticism in order to distract him from his inner most thoughts – that he was actually a she. Imagine spending over six decades with a secret such as this and then, under a magnifying glass, making the very brave decision to open up to the entire WORLD about it.

Taking on an entirely new identity while the world watches, criticizes, ridicules, judges, and follows your every step has to be traumatic. And it takes major courage to do it anyway. My friend Terri said it perfectly today. She told me:

“every advance we ever make in this country starts with one person standing up and willing to take a beating from the public to shine a light on their cause—racism, women’s rights, gay rights and now transgenderism…”

Spot on, Terri.

It starts with one.

One person to stand up for what they believe in; Or one person to open up about their stories. Being relatable, approachable and vulnerable is courageous – Its being human in the most authentic form and not pretending everything is so damn perfect all of the time.

Caitlyn is doing it for the benefit of her own inner happiness and also for the countless others living today who struggle with gender identity.

Don’t tell me that’s not courageous.

(And I can’t even hate on her look last night either. Versace! HELLO! WERK, honey.)

My wish is that we can all live in a more accepting world. Why is it that when something good happens, (someone winning an award, for example) there has to be soooooo many people to instantly criticize it and find the problems with it instead? It’s almost depressing to open up my social media and see all the hate. It hasn’t even been 24 hours, people! I just want this to be a world where everyone can just be themselves and not feel sorry about it.

With that being said, I also want this to be a world where we can all respect each others varying opinions. What a boring world this would be if we all were on the same exact page about everything. So I’m not over here suggesting we all suppress our opinions on what’s going on in society, but rather, I am encouraging more love and kindness. That’s it. The old rule is “if you don’t have something nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.” But I would like to change that because I realize we shouldn’t subscribe to saying nothing at all. It’s just HOW YOU SAY IT that can make an impact…

I think we are here in this world to help each other out. And if you can’t help someone, just please, don’t hurt them.

[REPOSTED] Split Image

by Kate Fagan
ESPN

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In the amazingly written original article by Kate Fagan, we are introduced to Madison Holleran, a girl who appeared to have it all, (based on her social media, that is.) The article is so compelling that I had to repost it below.

Click here to read the full story about a girl who took her own life despite the happily filtered instagram life she portrayed to the world.

It really resonates with why I started The Wave in the first place. When Robin Williams committed suicide last year, I knew it was time for me to enter the blogsphere. There are so many beauty blogs out there, but not enough blogs talking about the tough stuff, like suicide.

How many people out there are silently suffering with issues of mental health, depression, contemplations of suicide…and yet are hiding behind the filters of social media pressures and image comparisons, completely pretending that they are fine and happy? Are you living your life unfiltered?

Thank you Kate Fagan for writing such a phenomenal piece that I hope reaches the masses and brings awareness to this issue.

Please [REPOST] this blog on your social media accounts. You never know who it can save!

Share with espnW:

How much do you filter your real self on social? Join the conversation by tagging @espnW and using #LifeUnfiltered when you post your photo and story on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter.

Madison Holleran’s friends share their unfiltered life stories
Five of Madison Holleran’s friends remove the filter — literally and metaphorically — from their social media accounts to disclose their true feelings during the shared moments in their lives.

Original post and content by Kate Fagan of ESPNw.

What’s Hott and What’s Not

by: Rikayah Crawford

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The girl that you see to your left in the picture was a bit chubby, insecure, and did not understand her inner beauty. That’s the girl who tried to take her own life.

The confident young woman you see to the right is the exact opposite. In that picture I understand that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I now understand the love I have for myself from within overflows into my outward appearance. Loving yourself is what’s hot. But obsessing over your appearance is not.

The world we live in today has shattered the authentic meaning of self-esteem and confidence. It has been dismantled by the misconceptions from the media, peers, celebrities (and really good filters.) The theory of “what’s hot and what’s not” has invaded the impressionable minds of young girls. As a result, many young women have referred to self-esteem as “feeling good” about themselves while others equate esteem to arrogance, conceit and egotism.  Damned if we do and damned if we don’t take a selfie!

Often times we embody the reflections and opinions of those around us.  It’d be nice if there was an instruction manual for how to overcome the tough times and judgments of others. In my life I’ve had lots of those tough times- hardships in my relationships, insecurities around other women, and ultimately the contemplation of committing suicide.

There was a moment in my life when I hit rock bottom due to the overwhelming insecurities I felt about the way I looked and interacted with others.  I had allowed the opinions of others about me to become my reality. Worst of all, I had blamed every problem and insecurity on myself. I was so hard on myself. Every day I struggled to look in the mirror.

It was the morning after the night I attempted to take my own life that I realized that I wanted more for my life than so much attention to be on my physical reflection.  And it was clear I survived that dark night for a purpose.

If I wanted to be successful, it had to begin with the renewing of my mind and making changes from within rather than analyzing so much about my exterior.

My parents always told me, “Rikayah, every gift that God has blessed you with and everything that you go through is not only for you but for you to share with someone else.” I didn’t see it at the time, but now I see how my story can help other women who might be able to relate to body image, depression and suicide.

By surrounding myself around positive and uplifting people and focusing on my inner beauty it enabled me to pick myself back up and begin again. As a result of focusing on my inner self, the rest of me started to transform, too. Today I love the skin i’m in, without a filter, without comparing myself to others, and truthfully without giving a damn about what others think.

Even though I have endured some heavy stuff in the short time God has granted me, I know I have a purpose and I plan to live out. If you or anyone you know is struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts, please encourage them to seek help TODAY. It’s never too late to transform your mind.

ALS Bucket Challenge

by: Alicia M. Blanco

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I have a confession to make. Up until two days ago I had NO idea what the now famous “ALS Ice bucket challenge” was…. and I didnt even know what ALS stood for! All I knew was, based on social media, it was suddenly the “it” thing to do… and yet I had no idea why.. I just kept seeing videos popping up of people pouring water on their heads and then challending three or more additional people to follow their lead and do the same… And because I’m not one to jump on bandwagons very easily (like those dumb email chains that tell you that you’ll have bad luck for seven years if you don’t forward it to ten peope).. I sort of filed the ALS challenge into the same category.

I will say that I was totally impressed that it became such a huge wave on social media though!! J-Lo, George W. Bush, Lebron James, Taylor Swift are just a FEW of the celebrities who also participated. Like I always say, it just takes one person and an idea to start something BIG. Millions of dollars and TONS of awareness big.

So then I got challenged. And that’s honestly when I began my “research” to see what exactly I was being challenged into doing. Here is what I read.

I learned it was to raise money for Lou Gehrig’s disease which is also known as ‘amyotrophic lateral sclerosis’…(aha…. so THAT’S what ALS stands for)…and why didnt they just call it the “LGD ice bucket challenge”? – because I’m pre-tty sure more people are familiar with the words ‘Lou Gehrigs disease’ anways but that’s none of my business…

anyways!!

I think it’s great that we’re all coming together for a good cause. All It took was one person and then BAM, more and more people started to ride the wave too.. AND LOOK HOW HUGE OF A WAVE ITS BECOME!!!

If I was going to do it, I would totally do it Charlie Sheen style. Homeboy straight up dumped a bucket of CASH over his head instead of water. Brilliant. He even said “let’s face it, ice will melt… but this money is going to actually help people.” HOLLER!! Such a good idea. If you havent seen it, check it out HERE.

Obviously it was only a matter of time until all the memes and GIFs starting popping up making fun of our country for wasting so much water while other countries are in dire need for it. #merica #charity So, good job Mr. Sheen. In this case you are in indeed #winning

So those are my thoughts! People are so funny on social media these days. Things are so trendy and hot topic-ishy until something more trendy comes along. And in the case of charities, i’m allllll for trending the pooh out of charity! I just hope theres a genuine heart in all the ice bucket participants. I worry that many partake in the challenge just so they will have content to post on their instagrams and facebooks. I hope I’m wrong!

Do your research. Read about the causes that you want to serve, promote and advocate!

Here’s just a few of the charities I love, support and have worked (or still work) for in LA and AZ:

Chances for Children
Go Red for Women
Susan G. Komen
Miss Inner Beauty
Andre House
Adopt-a-Family program

And honestly there’s like a zillion more. I’m a bit of a charity-addict. That’s why I support The Unite4Good Foundation which supports and celebrates ALL of these and more as a collective team and effort.